Sophia's Third Birthday

This post is a long time coming but after the heavy grief I felt in March, I felt the need to lessen my time on devices and be more mindful and present during the month of April.

But can you believe it, three years.

26 March 2020, how can it feel like only yesterday but feel so far away at the same time. Time is so warped with grief but Sophia's third birthday was just beautiful, I worried as mum guilt creeps in because my rainbows birthday is also the 26 March 2021 so I made sure he really had a special day and we sent Sophia our love too.

Sophia's Third Birthday

So we started our day by giving our rainbow birthday presents, watching him smile and say "Oh Wow" repeatedly at all his new toys! It warmed my heart to see him experience something that Sophia couldn't experience. We then went off to Rascals Playcentre where family and friends came to celebrate.

I baked Sophia's cupcakes this year myself and they surprisingly went down better than Samson's shop bought paw patrol cake!!

Sophia's Homemade Cupcakes

But anyways it was lovely having playtime with Samson and afterwards other family members went with us for Sophia's Birthday visit where we wished her our love.

We placed her birthday gifts up with her, along with her flower birthday cake arrangement that myself and my mum created as usual.

It warmed my heart that some of my family joined us up there, it really meant the world and I think they know that too.

Flower Birthday Cake Arrangement

While visiting my sister captured the loveliest sign sent from Sophia, clouds making a shape of a heart. It was the sign I needed to let me know she felt our love and that I had got the balance right for both my babies, angel and rainbow.

A heart formed in the clouds during our birthday visit to Sophia

We then went back to my parents house where one of our rainbows little friends came over and they spent a lovely time playing. It's fair to say our busy boy was tired by the end of the day and his mama was more than happy to have given him a special day and the reassurance that Sophia will always send me signs in moments of doubt.

But how it's been three years, I honestly don't know. I just know it still feels like yesterday that I held her.

The best thing about her birthday week this year was to find that her clothes still holds her smell and that brings a lovely sense of closeness and comfort even though I know it won't last forever, I'm grateful it's lasted this long.

My heart was so excited when I realised, so much so I had to go straight to Dan and the smile on his face told me he felt exactly how I felt!

So here I sit, with the sun shining into the window, thoughts of Sophia and I'm still smiling.

Always Smiling for Sophia