My first feileacain workshop

Two years and 8 months, that's how long it's been since I held my baby girl in my arms. Time keeps going by so fast and here I am doing my best to just keep going with it. As my 19 month old rainbow baby thrives, I feel a need to try find time to reflect and spend with Sophia too. Every parents battle of finding bonding time, and with that thought I smile.

As a mental health nurse I tend to analyse a lot, especially myself and what I've noticed is if I can complete little tasks for Sophia then I feel as if it's time I spent with her, the only way I can. This is the magic I found in my first feileacain workshop. An evening dedicated to spending time with Sophia.

17th November 2022

I walk in to familiar faces, lady's who I've met through the butterfly garden project. Amykate's mum who organised the workshop to be in Swinford is there and feileacain representative and facilitator Jacinta also there. The atmosphere is one that is relaxed, there's no awkwardness like some may feel anxious about. Instead there is a warmth, an understanding and nothing but smiles and laughter around the room.

Some chatter about our little ones, and some listening of others stories but one common theme can be found and it's not sadness like most would imagine. It's love. It's knowing we're there to honour our little ones.

So Jacinta demonstrates the activities we'll be doing and even her demonstration is the most relaxed demonstration I've seen.

There's no pressures, no expectations. This is a safe space and some time to dedicate just for you and your little one and how powerful that truly is for the mind.

I mean I should know that because as a mental health nurse I've facilitated craft and art groups for clients. I've created grief boxes with clients but yesterday I was at the other side of it. I was a participant and not a facilitator.

I can finally see the benefits of what I've done for clients in the past and I hope my nursing friends who may read my blogs can take that message away. It is so therapeutic!

We underestimate the power of art and craft groups as nurses, often making nursing students focus on theory based groups which yes are important but equally important to these relaxing therapeutic groups.

The special part for me was making Christmas creations for Sophia and if I'm being quite honest with how I truly felt. It was like I was creating with Sophia.

Each item I chose I picked because I think she would've liked them. I even said to my very good friend Jack's mum that my attitude is very much whatever way these turn out is the way Sophia obviously wants them because that mindset is what my heart needs.

I'm delighted Anita and Jacinta have been able to set up the féileacáin workshops locally and I know more and more people will benefit from them.

The next feileacain workshop I'm completing is a Christmas painting one in December but this one is done through zoom. I'm not entirely sure how I'll like it as zoom is very different from the in person style of groups but hey I'm sure you'll read about that one in a blog afterwards too!!

This is another reason why charity's like féileacáin is important because sadly as much as many people would like to believe the old beliefs that you just move on from babyloss, the reality is that we live with heartache every day. Feileacain give us that safe space to remember judgement free.