Love: A force that supersedes time

Three months. How has it been three months since the most beautiful girl came into my arms? How have I survived three months without holding her, feeling her and dreaming of a future with her? Three months ago we learned the true meaning of Love. Something we all feel as humans but we often take for granted.

Love is now my number one priority. So yes, if I love you then you will receive "I love you" messages a lot from me. This is because it's my number one priority now, to love with all my heart. At the end of the day, life, it's not about your career, the money you make, where you live. It's about the love and bonds you've made along the way. We often wait until it's too late to tell those we love how much they mean to us, I guess that's what I'm changing. I'll let you know what you mean to me, I'm grateful for Love. I'm grateful to know what it is to love something as precious as my beautiful baby. I'm grateful to be the biggest sop in the world because I just want to love.

But as humans we don't want love, love is scary. Love is what makes the loss so incredibly painful but love is also what makes loss real. When you feel a part of you be taken away because your heart has broken into a million pieces, those broken pieces are replaced with that person. The love of the person, that is why we have that saying "they're in your heart." If you've ever said this or thought it after losing someone then you should smile, because that person made you love them so much that they've literally broken your heart, but that love is repairing it and that's why they're there.

Love is my top priority, my top value. I believe Sophia has taught me that. I've lost so many before as you would've read in my grieving story but I have never felt my heart break the way it did when I lost Sophia. I believe that was because as I carried Sophia for seven months of my life, she was a part of me, our hearts beat next to one another. I know that's why it hurt so much. I know it was because when my heart shattered, I could barely breathe and that was because a part of me died when she did.

But that part of me three months later, is repairing. That part of me is the love I have for Sophia. The pride I feel when I talk about her, just makes me love her even more. It reminds me that while a part of me died with her, she left a part of her with me. I truly feel a part of me has grown, it's inspired me to look and re-evaluate the life I want to live.

Since losing Sophia I've wanted to just stop time. I've wanted to be able to go back to where she's in my arms and freeze time, never make it move. I wanted to feel that love and never have to let it go. In the space of three months, I've learned that love can never go, but we can stop time in another way. We can set aside time to reflect, close our eyes and think back to a time where love filled your heart. In a way that is stopping time and love, love will always remain. The pain we feel when we lose someone, it's not caused by loss, it's caused by the love we had for that person, and the fear of losing the love. In our grief, we all learn that love is truly the strongest force. The one that causes the pain but one that allows us to heal and continue to love unconditionally.

I've learned so much about myself in three months, and it's all thanks to Sophia. I've learned that life has mysterious ways of working, that without sadness there would be no happiness and that love, it truly is the most powerful force.

So while I will always want to stop time, because really I don't want to face time without her, I'm learning that time will keep moving, and that's ok, because the love I have for Sophia will always remain the same. Sophia will always exist, through me. So if you've read this, I want you to take a moment to look at things you've been stressing about, I want you to look at your values. I want you to prioritise Love. As Mahatma Gandhi has said, "Love is the strongest force the world possesses and yet it is the humblest imaginable." Take a moment today to feel the love you have for family members and friends, and let them know. Don't leave it because you don't want to look "soppy". A wise man I knew would always say "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did but people will never forget how you made them feel" and I believe that too, uncle Michael was right. I will tell people I love them, I will tell them what they mean because even if they forget my soppy words they'll feel the love I had for them and that is my number one value in this point of time. So time can keep passing, I'll try to stop asking it to freeze and I'll keep smiling, just like I always do for Sophia. Smile for Love and our angels above.