Father's Day Message

Some messages I wanted to send out this Father's Day.

To my amazing partner,

Today should have been so different, we should have been cheering that Sophia was a week old and I'd be giving you dorky gifts because it's your first fathers day. You should of been changing nappies and hearing cries. But today we have our memories of Sophia, and you are still celebrating your first fathers day, just in a different way than we had wished for. This is a message for you. A message to show you why I celebrate you on Father's Day.

You are the greatest papa I could have ever dreamed of for our angel. You wiped my tears away and hid your own. While our hearts broke together you focused on building my strength up so we could bring our beautiful baby into the world. When I felt I would go through the pain of labour for nothing, you reminded me of the control I have, that I can bring our angel into our arms and that we would do it together. You let me squeeze your hand and roar in your face, you encouraged me and it's true, you've definitely seen me at my worst. When I felt I had failed as a woman, you reminded me to focus on my feelings and take my own advice. You told me it wasn't my fault, you told me you were proud of me. You once again were my rock when I know all you wanted to do was crumble. You made me feel comforted in a time that my world crashed and I know yours did too. I only hope I comforted you as much as you did for me. I only hope you know how I admire you and thank you for being you.

While being pregnant you protected our baby and me, while going through this pain you continue to protect me. When we had our angel, you protected her. You carried and cared for her, giving her all the love a papa can give. You helped dress her, and you had such pride in your face when you held her. When it came to laying our angel to rest you placed her in her forever bed with so much dignity and pride. You held me when I wept. You continued to protect her by getting a frame made for her forever bed. You continue to protect her name and you protect me every day. You hide your pain and you do it with so much bravery and strength. You carry on with so much love and pride for me, the same love and pride I saw when you carried our baby. I am so thankful to have you and call you the papa to my angel.

Watching you hold our angel, adore her, dress her, read to her and smile at me for having her. One reason I love talking about our labour story is because I always get to see the smile and love on your face, it brings me back to our precious moment, when our beautiful baby finally came into the world. You remind me every day of the love you have for Sophia but also for me. On days that I feel negative about myself, you make me laugh and remind me of how amazing I am as a woman. You remind me that we will get through this together. That we will try again for babies, but that Sophia will always be our firstborn.

You are the rock that I can hold onto to stop me from sinking, your words are what creates my lifejacket. You and Sophia will always be my sunshine on a rainy day. You are the bravest, strongest father to my angel. You are a father. You have held your baby, you have created an angel. You are a strong papa because you had to let her go. Somehow while our world crumbled together, you were the one who held us together. You were the glue that rebuilt our world, you remind me daily that Sophia is in our hearts and that she would be proud. While I had maternity leave, you had to return to work, I will never know how you did that or found the strength to face people so soon. Our baby would be so proud of her papa, the man he is and has become. Our baby would be smiling at that love and pride you carry, you have done your daughter proud and I will remind you of that not just every fathers day but every day. Anyone who doesn't acknowledge you as a father will listen to my long labour story as a result, because you are the bravest man, and an amazing father to our beautiful angel. So happy fathers day, on a day we are reminded of loss, I want you to be reminded of how amazing you are as a father, that you are the definition of the best father and that I feel so lucky to call you the papa to our angel. I want you to have a happy father's day because I know Sophia would want you to celebrate being her father. We love you to the moon and back and more. Forever and always.

So to my amazing partner and all angel fathers, I wish you all a happy fathers day. There may be sadness on this day but you are still a father, without you our angels wouldn't exist. You are the glue to our families, you are the strongest fathers out there because you had to let something so precious go. But on this fathers day I want you to feel proud, I want you to feel the love your angel has for you and smile. Smile because you created that angel and you supported your partner through it. Smile because when your world crumbled, you stayed so strong that you held it all together, piece by piece you fixed it with your strength and courage. You gave us courage, you gave us strength to endure the pain we had to. You gave us your love and for that we give you ours back. Celebrate being the strong father you are, our angels would want that and I know as an angel mummy I won't be letting you forget that not just today, but every day.

To Sophia's grandad in Ireland and grandpapa in Spain, thank you for always being the glue to our families. You both like Dan have shown courage and strength, in a time you grieve the loss of your granddaughter, you grieve for your children also. To my dad, thank you for spoiling our angel, and for giving me so much strength and love in a time I felt so much pain. Thank you for supporting Dan, for holding me up when I felt I would fall. Thank you for being my dad but for also being an amazing grandad to our angel. Yes, you are a grandad and always will be now that we've had Sophia.

To Sophia's grandpapa thank you for raising the most amazing man in the world, thank you for supporting and loving us all from afar. Thank you for being an amazing grandpapa to our angel, for giving us hope. I know it's not father's day in Spain but you get two father's days because you're extra special and this is one for you. So to you both, please celebrate being our father's but also celebrate being a grandfather and grandpapa to our angel, because she would want that and we know you feel proud too.

To every dad, daddy or papa on father's day. I wish you the happiest of days today, even if you feel sadness, talk to us. We will be your rock too. Remember you created children, you protected them and you love them. Be kind to yourself. This day is to celebrate you and that's what me and my angel Sophia will do.

I also want to acknowledge a few other people today. I want to send my love to my mum who faces her first fathers day without her dad, I know he would be smiling down on you mum for showing me how to be strong. There is no wonder he called me wee Bideen.

To my grandparents who lost their son Declan, today is an especially hard day for ye as it also marks Declan's birthday. I know it will be painful, I know you wish he was still here. I know because I feel your pain. But I also feel the pride you have, and the joy you feel when you're reminded of him. You've always done him proud and he has done you proud too. So, celebrate today, celebrate Declan like you would've every year and celebrate father's day.

To Norma and Charles, I also know you will feel pain today. I know how hard it will be, how you will shed tears. But you're strong, Declan would be so proud of you and would want you to smile.

Lastly, to my cousins Siobhán and Dando, who both know I've been thinking about them all week long. I can only imagine the pain you feel. I know ye will miss making your phone calls to your dad, or doing your regular father's day things but just know you are not alone, I am here for you. It is ok to cry today, it's a significant day. It's a day that might make you feel lonely and remind you of the unfairness. But it's also a day you'll have happy reminders and smile. I want you both to know the one thing I can always recall is every conversation ye have ever had with your dad has ended with ye both saying I love you to one another, and I know ye were secretly both his princesses, and that he would be so proud of your bravery. So make new traditions for father's day, celebrate your amazing dad. He's always in your heart and I know ye always do him proud.

Fathers Day Written by Stephanie Maloney

So I'm sending love to the bereaved fathers, I'm sending love to those who have lost their fathers, and to every father out there. I wish you a very Happy Fathers Day.

Smile for papas on Father's day. Smile for all angel fathers. Smile for grandfathers on fathers day. Smile for the strongest men in the world. Smile for all father's. Smile for those who are remembering their father. Smile for Sophia's strong papa. Sophia is smiling for her papa and grandpapas, now let's smile with her.